C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
