Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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