It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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