dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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