i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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