My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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