As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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