Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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