If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
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