as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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