bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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