I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize