maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
