Non-Jews are for practice
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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