Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
don't judge my taste in strippers
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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