I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
