I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
