Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
