Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
