Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
