in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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