whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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