Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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