i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
