dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize