We're facebook friends in real life
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
