No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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