There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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