my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
