And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
