Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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