i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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