There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
