yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
