with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
