The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
