she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
