It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
try to milk me bitch
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