Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
