are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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