U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
