is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
