Having a random hookup so left but love u
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i love accidental penises.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
