How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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