I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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