Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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