We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
