Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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