I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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