I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
