the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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