You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
