Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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