that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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