it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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