we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Drunk is not a location!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
