How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
