My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
