its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dignity is for republicans.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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