someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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