help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
