In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
